


What Is, What Was, What Might Have Been

by torino10154



Series: Adventdrabbles 2015 [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Het Relationship, Ficlet, Multi, Pining, Slash, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5432129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for <a href="http://asylums.insanejournal.com/adventdrabbles/">Adventdrabbles</a> prompt for day 13: holiday baking, day 14: Christmas cocktail, and day 15: homemade ornaments.</p>
    </blockquote>





	What Is, What Was, What Might Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Adventdrabbles](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/adventdrabbles/) prompt for day 13: holiday baking, day 14: Christmas cocktail, and day 15: homemade ornaments.

Sirius couldn't help but think that James had become entirely too domestic. The house smelled of fresh baked biscuits rather than cigarette smoke—he had to go outside, into the cold, now that Lily was pregnant. She wasn't even showing, for Christ's sake.

James handed him a drink that wasn't whisky or gin. 

Sirius sniffed. "Peppermint?"

"Schnapps," James said. 

Sirius took a sip, the liqueur sweet on his tongue. "Have any real alcohol in the house?"

"Just drink it, Sirius." James walked back into the kitchen and Sirius heard Lily giggling followed by a low rumble of laughter from James.

Sirius remembered when he was the one making James laugh. Memories washed over him, all the times it was just the two of them against the world.

He squeezed his eyes shut thinking about the night he'd been so close to telling James how he felt about him. They'd been drunk, of course. James had stripped off and climbed into bed with him.

James had turned toward him, squeezed his hand and said, "Love you, Padfoot."

"'Course you do." 

Sirius hadn't thought he meant it the way Sirius meant it. 

But what if he had? For once in his life, Sirius had been at a loss for words. How did one say, "I know you're engaged to a bird but I'll suck your cock better than she does"?

Sirius had watched James's eyes fall closed, his lashes thick and black on his cheek. He'd reached out and put his hand on James's cheek, his stubble rough under Sirius's palm.

"Love you, too, Jamie."

"It's time to decorate the tree!" James said, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. "Lily made these ornaments without magic. Aren't they brilliant?"

"Brilliant." Sirius threw back the rest of his sickly sweet drink, suppressing a shudder. "I need a smoke. Coming?"

"Er." James looked back toward the kitchen. "She doesn't even like the smell. Makes her ill."

"Right." Sirius stood up and pulled a fag from the pack, putting it between his lips. "I'll be back."

He strode out the door and leaned against his motorcycle, lighting the cigarette with the tip of his wand. He inhaled deeply and remembered the days of running through the forest, his friends by his side.


End file.
